Muddy fields back home

Well, It started off with a ugly act of submission, a long confrontation and finally desperate courage. And I've come off with nothing but more hope. Tough times indeed. Somehow I cant stop thinking it was all in my hands until I lost it. I dont quite understand if I have to snub myself or feel sorry for whats now. There's much in the Corporate dose that eludes me still. Its an ugly world if ur standing against ur Manager's will I tell you. The passage to Bangalore remains an illusion.

I know I'm living in a land of too much hope and illusion for my own good. I avoid reality probably because its too much to take, and delusion gives you that happy feeling and somewhere a belief that beckons faith. I need some answers .... soon enough. From myself, from The One above. KR was aimed at that, only, I'm having to ride the storm for em precious answers. So be it. I dont have a choice but to feel positive and think my learning curve is really steep and crap like that you know. After all, I have to face that ugly face of my oh so cunning Manager tomorrow morning. And all that performance monitoring might just turn things my way. For now though, I dont want to think about Bangalore or memories that even brush those muddy fields back home.

Holiday today. Much reprieve after a sleepless night yday. And writing sure has helped. In streamlining the thought process (why? coz he loves parallel lines heh) and putting all that stubborn chaos to rest. A smile in retrospect someday it might be. But there's much to live for my friend. See you around sometime.

Faith. Peace.